WEDDING PLANNING TIPS:
Paebaek: Korean Wedding Ritual
Paebaek is a Korean wedding ritual where the groom's family formally accepts the bride into their home. The ceremony was originally intended as a way for the bride to pay her respects to the groom's family.
Traditionally, the bride would live with the groom's family after the wedding. In modern times, this practice is rarely observed and many couples have modernized the tradition of Paebaek. Relatives on both sides of the family are often invited to participate and offer their blessings to the couple.
When Korean-American couple gets married, they will often have a Western ceremony and a Paebaek afterwards as more of a private affair for close family members while the other guests are at the cocktail hour or reception.
The bride and groom enter together dressed in ceremonial Korean wedding attire. The bride wears a Korean traditional dress or hanbok. Red dots are placed with stickers or makeup on the bride's cheeks to represent ruddy cheeks and symbolize youth and virginity.
The bride also wears a elaborate topcoat with flowing sleeves or a wonsam over her hankok. A ceremonial coronet called a jokduri is placed on her head and a yongjam (long hairpin with a dragon head at one end) is placed through her tied hair.
The groom's clothes closely resemble those worn by the lowest ranking officials during the Chosum Dynasty. As marriage represented the most important event in a man's life, the groom was allowed to wear the uniform, even though he did not hold any position in the palace.
Family members, starting from the groom's parents, then the bride's parents and then onto more distant relatives, will take their turn sitting in front of a table laden with various edibles and tea, to receive their bow from the couple.
Then, the couple will bow. The bride will stand, put the back of her hands against her forehead and holding that position, slowly kneel and bow until the hands touch the ground in front of her. The bride will need help from her bridesmaids to kneel properly. The groom will just kneel slowly, place his hands on the ground and lower his head.
After the first full bow, the couple will stand up and perform another half bow from the standing position before taking their seats. It is also customary for distant relatives receiving bows to bow in unison while they sit.
The bride and groom serve tea or rice wine to each set of parents and relatives after they bow. Although the bride should hand the tea to the parents, because of the long sleeves of the wonsam, she will have a helper deliver the tea (usually the bridesmaid).
The parents and relatives in turn, offer words of wisdom and blessings to the couple. They also give them white envelopes filled with money to start the new couple on their way.
There are usually nine offerings, a symbol of fullness represented by the new couple's lifelong union: Dates to the east (sunrise) for the couple to rise early and work hard, chestnuts to the west to ward off evil spirits, dried meats and sweets for the mother-in-law to take her new daughter with kindness and generosity and gingko nuts eternal faith to their son.
The parents will throw dates and chestnuts which the bride and groom will attempt to catch with the bride's apron. According to legend, the number of dates and chestnuts caught signify how many girls (dates) and boys (chestnuts) they will bear. Later in the evening, the bride and groom are supposed to eat the dates and chestnuts they caught.
As a public display of his strength, the groom shall carry his new bride on his back around the table. Next, the groom carries his mother-in-law to thank her for raising her daughter so well. Finally, the groom carries his own mother around the table. These moments as well as the Paebaek in general offer great photo opportunities and lasting memories. And this is the reason why many Korean-American couples incorporate this time into their wedding.
